Im recovering from the most social week in my life in the past 6-8 months, two of my hipster bombay friends had come to delhi to attend a super wedding, and they really wanted to hang out with me. The last three times they came to Delhi, I couldn't meet them for a host of reasons - was genuinely busy, was in a funk, was feeling asocial or was out of town.
Anyway met them, drank too much, smoked too much pot, my head is heavy and body is reeling under side effects. I actually met a bunch of really talented individuals who work in music, photography and cinema making, they were articulate and really talented. I could obviously read my experience in two ways - either be massively depressed looking at these super achieving people of my age or be inspired. I think I choose the latter, it is only wise. Where has envy and jealousy ever really got us? But I see a lot of people regularly drown themselves in that bile, especially when it comes to love. What is about wanting someone's attention and love? sometimes so desperately that you begin stalking them, their friends and then draw conclusions drenched in paranoia and cry your eyes out? In the past 2 or 3 months, Ive really seen some fine individuals doing that. Love is important, and pining is okay I guess but whats up with this obsession?
Then I also realise that me and my friends are racing towards the 30s and for them it is a desperate time, they feel they are getting too old, everybody nice is already taken and they will never find love. Ive seen a few acquaintances who used to mock young girls wanting to marry early, and then when they turned to their late twenties, they chose to get married because well age, parents and what not. If it is going to be something that you would choose later, then why the fuck mock those girls who want it early in their lives? Seriously you guys get your shit together.
As much as Ive resisted this in the past couple of years, I am back to smoking pot and rolling cigarettes. I really enjoy it, it is not interfering with my life or my mind in any way just that it may just be killing me. I cant understand this side of me - wanting to eat clean food, no sugar/dairy but then smoke up later in the evening. Wanting good health on one hand and ruining it on the other. Not like I cant do without it, but I like carrying my stuff whenever I go see a couple of friends.
Have also become increasingly lazy, barring a couple of friends who live in the same locality as me, I havent really ventured out. We went to Hauz Khas that day and I was almost crying because it is too much to travel and I hate this stupid Delhi weather.
My cats are well and fine, havent read anything phenomenally beautiful in a while. Thats about it for now.
"Have also become increasingly lazy, barring a couple of friends who live in the same locality as me, I havent really ventured out."
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook.