Past week has been hell because of the migraine, it was only in books and websites that headaches went for this long, till it happened to me. My head is a different kind of hell and is always ripping through the time-space continuum, so perhaps this the reason why the headache feels endless, so does my heart ache, and the feeling of ennui.
Have spent the past 6 hours doing completely brain dead work with full concentration, though it is marred by my heart ache which is dull(and ingenuous, by the simple of virtue of having existed 14 months+), is not just dull, but annoying and persistent. Nothing makes it go away, I have started to fear that this will exist as long as I live. In my own humble opinion, I am hazaar fucked and doomed. Will I always be in love with the wrong people? Will it will always suck? Will I always be five feet besides myself and unhappy?
I have more or less been in the zone but something triggered a host of awful feelings last week, and I find it difficult to breathe.
Delhi summers has been lovely, if I may say so. I mean it showers pretty often, and evenings are pale, breezy and lovely.
I am making enough money to make ends meet, and do a few other things. It all feels okay till I want to have more perspective and look at the larger picture. Wtf is a larger picture? I don't care if I have everything that I really want tomorrow, because right now is when I want it, because right now seems to extend forever and the tomorrow never really comes.
Also, dating is generally bullshit in Delhi. Only morons on the offer, wondering if someone feels the same way about me.
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