I'm doing much better today I think. I've bought all kinds of cheese possible. I baked some spinach+cottage cheese+broccoli+half cup spring onions with cream and mozzarella cheese. Before I put it to bake, I sauteed these with a bit of garlic in butter and some nice soy sauce. It was delicious, I had a small serving each for the meals.
For beverage, I had a cup of black coffee and a cup of green tea. I snacked on some almonds and walnuts,and had two glasses of butter milk(added a pinch of salt).
It wasn't so tiring today, I could run+yoga for about an hour and half.
I've realized that I really love doing yoga but breathing exercises really get my goat, I just cant. Though I force myself to somehow do those exercises for about 15 minutes.
The only thing about this diet that I really miss is having fruits. I really miss having my watermelons, oranges and apples. I just keep telling myself that in six months, I can get back to eating fruits and all things I love.
I feel so fagged out, thanks to the low carb diet. My friend tells me this will happen for a couple of weeks, I'll get headaches, feel dizzy, cranky etc but once my body adjusts to it, it will not hurt so much.
I slept for 4 hours in the afternoon and I am yawning again as I type.
I have so much work to finish before I sleep, I think Im gonna die.
Thats the name of a cheesy song by the Spice girls.
My friend K, or as I now call her, K dawg(I know, the 30s have hit us hard...on the head)...so yea K dawg left for her hometown yesterday and we really tried to not cry at the airport, but then we did. I mean we werent that kind of great friends before she got here, just that we knew each other for close to a decade. But us staying together, and both of us being at the same curve in our lives, I think we've built a different kind of solidarity and love. Last night I really felt lonely, I cried on the phone for a bit, looked at all our selfies taken in the past two months and in the morning I woke up feeling better.
I think its been a while that Ive known that I do not want a marriage kind of a family set up, I love companionship and I seek to make a different kind of a support infrastructure for myself. Hence, I really treasure my friendships. My friendships will be my lifelong relationships. So as friends we practiced not to place a romantic love above than the other relationships, and that the care an that sense of companionship is going to stretched beyond the partners'. So we try to be there for each other's important days. Its difficult, yes, its quite difficult actually, because then you are looking out for quite a few people at the same time and therefore having a few solid friendships helps, so that there'll be someone atleast! Ive grown up in a family and society where women value their marriages above their personal relationships, because after a point their women friends also tend to do the same. Its a vicious circle, but its a circle, we hope to break.
So anyway getting back to the point, Ive realised the importance of building solid friendships and now I try, very hard, to do that. My therapist and I were talking about something and I realised that last time I really really made friends was maybe 2011 or 12? After that Ive only left friends behind, or they've given up on me and left. Ive not also seriously fallen in love, till date its the same old characters in my life. So thats why K leaving has left a hole in my heart. I miss having a wholesome friendship around me, which is not tiring and draining.
Making new friends is such a suck. How does one even begin? I hope to magically find some answer to this someday, because who knows what tomorrow may bring?
I listen to a lot of Malian music these days, these guys are one of my favourites. They are both blind, Amadou lost his eyesight at 16 and Mariam at 5, look at them being just so ridiculously talented.
K is leaving tomorrow. Oh the misery and the looming cloud of doom over my bed.
Its so hot in delhi that aam panna, jal-jeera and such do not have any effect.
I went to party ten days back and drank so much, by the end of it I was this drunk bumbling idiot, but I still managed to sing a song, and I guess thats what matters. Because otherwise Id feel like this complete fool.
Because K has been here and this was her last week, we spent it just eating everything, obviously the diet has gone down the drain. But I have discovered that I really like Korean food. And I really dig it man, totes.
In other news, I have finally placed an order for my much wanted Bialetti coffee maker. Moka pots, here I come!
Chet Faker: Gold (Check out the three women roller skatin' like its no effort really)
I think eating watermelons is giving me an allergy, what sorcery is this. How to survive this cruel summer in Delhi without watermelons and roasted aam panna?
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Its so easy to move on from friends when one is convinced of their betrayal to the camaraderie, but when it isnt so is. Its a simmering since of loss, which simmers for a long while indeed.
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A friend of atleast 10 years, was staying with me for the past two months because she had archival work in delhi, and will now be flying back to the US of A. Loneliness will soon descend on me, because its first time in years I knew what it felt like to have someone around you from literal yester years.
Safe to assume that nobody reads the blog anymore. I have nothing to write really, but jamming down some words on this page anyway. I dont even know why I opened the page today. Blogger.com I have known you for 13 years now. Long time huh
