Sometimes I am such a fan of my own academic writing, I have these moments once in 7 years. I am happy about the field report I submitted but this realisation that none of us would be able to take this forward, because of all the crap our boss has put us through - it really breaks my heart. Right now there is stereo silence about the contract, but I wish I could see this through.
We all need validation, and my sense of validation often comes from work because everything else is really not in my control - what my friends think of me, what my coworkers think of me. It has taken a lot of effort to get here, at some point all I wanted was the validation of being loved back by the people Ive loved, and nothing else really mattered. But that doesn't last long, and the hurt of that love coming to an end, however lasts long, and how. Maybe its me, I have a propensity to hold on to the hurt than the nice memories I shared with someone once.
I finally fly back to Delhi on Tuesday. I feel like crap. House-moving, flat-hunting is draining.
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